11 Reasons Why You Should Never Eat Chocolate Again

 

1. Hi everyone, this is chocolate and it’s just whatever.

12581270664_15cd58a02d_k

Flickr user LongitudeLatitude

Meh.

 

2. People go nuts over this stuff but it’s not that great.

9202311620_70747cd509_o

Flickr user luisacontreras-87 

I just don’t get it.

 

3. I mean, does this kind of thing really make your mouth water?

4805450045_631f3dc2ee_b

Flickr user ginnerobot

No sir.

 

4. No one ever does anything new or innovative with chocolate.

brownie_brittle_choco._3_600x600

I mean, okay fine. This Brownie Brittle is cool but that’s probably like the only thing.

 

5. And anyone with any sort of dietary restrictions? Out of the club.

4828030064_fc0f7c4654_b

Flickr user mnem

You can’t have this type of delicious stuff when you’re gluten-free…oh, shoot, these are the gluten free ones. Dang. Wrong photo.

 

6. If you’re watching what you eat, chocolate is off-limits, forever.chocolate_banana_3

Er, just pay no attention to this Chocolate Banana Bar by Kutoa. This got here by mistake. Ignore the stuff about “flax seeds” and “chia” and “vegan” and gluten free,” nothing to see here.

 

7. Those “classic” chocolate recipes aren’t really that great. You’re just conditioned to think that.

2200565617_af1e8e0113_b

Flickr user Denise Cross Photography

Iconic? Nah.

 

8. It doesn’t even pair well with anything else.

8584662454_d973662ed7_b

Flickr user spratt504

Gross.

 

9. And it’s all the same, no variation. Yawn.

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Flickr user Andrew_Writer

Lazy much?

 

10. It’s one of those foods that never works well at a party.

184884185_e28fa49252_b

Flickr user tornatore

If you say you’re bringing chocolate, don’t be surprised if you get uninvited.

 

11. And whoever said chocolate was comfort food clearly has never been comforted.

4865230786_7f3327b195_b

Flickr user Vegan Feast Catering

“I’m sad. Time for some Brussels sprouts” – said everyone.

 

12. Basically, chocolate is blah. We’re over it. Right?

1339777790_1cf725967a_b

Flickr user sfllaw

I swear after this fifth piece I am done with it forever.

 

Any other suggestions for why you should never eat chocolate again? Tell us in the comments below!

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